the life of a filipino guy in the crossroads of society.

1:42AM - my story of krump.

you know a lotta people might go round writing their blogs and they already know that some people might read it, and in that case, sometimes compromises the content of the journal. it doesnt become a journal anymore, but a message board of sorts.

1:26PM - ...

i dunno, i actually dont wanna write anything down right now, but something inside me pushes me to write.

there are a lot of things inside me right now, and it kinda sucks. sudden bursts of sudden wants, wants that i dont want to have, but i do. fears that manifest itself. damn, its harder like this.

GOD help me. communication. prayer. hope. assurance. anxiety. i am sure but am i going to take it??? the right way is the hardest. ouch. i feel squeezed. i feel trapped. i feel worthless, lord. i feel selfish. i feel bad. lord, please, let it be me, everything. please.

im sad. lord, sana ako lang to. please. let me take it all in. please. please. that is my plea.

5:51PM - urgent!

guys!! kailangan ko ng tulong nyo ngayon!! pwede pareply/comment ng number ng sinangag express, sabi ni kyle may delivery na raw eh. salamat ng marami! merry christmas!

5:09PM - silence(",)

silence

hearing you on the other line
your voice
your sighs
your cute giggle

its already late and still...

silence

when i say "nevermind"
its not to get it out of the conversation
but to hear your giggles and also mine
inside and outside

then i try to fish...

silence

but yet we're still comfortable
then we turn up the music
"baby its cold outside"
my ears warm nevertheless

silence

hearing the background
wishing i was there also
but immobile i might be
still i really long for thee

then after everything...
silence in the surface
but still i hear something steady in rhythm
peace, a heart beating still

it aint a lonely and quiet night after all.(",)

-Phillip Pamintuan(",)

6:48PM - hay..

just got back from ate lee's birthday bash! happy birtday ate lee!!(",) thanks for all the shots towards merriment(",)

if people think im sabaw then the three of us, jono, pao and me would be "la paz batchoy" sabaw nyo!!!! hahaha! one thing bout being that is it helps you deal with life, coz being sabaw means taking different approaches to things.. absurd but different.. and the best part is , its soo out of place that you get to laugh at it.. love bein sabaw! woohoo!

gash.. lines from movies..

"so, you didnt mean to hurt anybody, right?" "but you do.."
-alfie

"the girl in your heart is different from the girl in your dreams"
-some hbo movie that starred sarah jessica parker, some unknown guy, some unknown girl, and ben stiller

"its in the moments that take your breath away"
-hitch.. i forgot the line preconnected to this..

hay.. god help us all, you know?
peace out yall..

5:08PM - sorry kung mahaba(",)

i need to sleep.. but then, if yall want a good movie, watch alfie.. okay sya.. yun lang..

so..what is jerusalem worth? <- got this from toba

*gusto ko magkaroon ng calendar na parang sa alfie, yun may word for the day everyday..
**gusto ko rin gumawa ng sarili kong book of answers, lam nyo yun, yuun sa powerbooks..
***gusto ko makausap yun mom ko sa ateneo.. real soon.. baka bukas..
****gusto ko malaman kung ano ang gagawin ko.. tenenenendendenden

sabaw movie criticism...
*sorry dein ko lam yun ljcut process soo.. sorry nalang hehe

toby: lip..panoorin mo the prestige..naalala kita nung pinanood ko
toby: awwwwww
Phillip Pamintuan: sweet mo ahh!
Phillip Pamintuan: napanood ko na
Phillip Pamintuan: panoorin mo alfie man!
toby: syempre
toby: napanood ko na!
toby: haha
Phillip Pamintuan: cool noh?
Phillip Pamintuan: what is jerusalem worth??
toby: nothing
toby: everything
toby: nanunuod kasi ako ng kingdom of heaven
toby: star movies
toby: haha
toby: 8.8/10
toby: the prestige
Phillip Pamintuan: ]ahh ok.. ako sa kabila hbo.. alfie
Phillip Pamintuan: 8.8 lang??
Phillip Pamintuan: ako umm.. 9 flat
Phillip Pamintuan: di ko lang ma pinpoint yun kulang na 1
Phillip Pamintuan: pero maganda yunu mga twists eh
Phillip Pamintuan: AHH LAM KO NA!
toby: pero dude...ganda nung cinematography!
Phillip Pamintuan: yun missing 1 na sablay is ginamit ng story ang "deus ex machina"
Phillip Pamintuan: ginamitan ng magic
Phillip Pamintuan: madaya yun ending
Phillip Pamintuan: tipong parang.. WHAT DA
Phillip Pamintuan: FUCK
toby: oonga!
Phillip Pamintuan: wala masyadong basis yun clone process
Phillip Pamintuan: sana kung nilagyan ng foundation yun
Phillip Pamintuan: pero kahity si david bowie di nya ma explain eh
toby: dude..and hindi naghubad si scarlett
toby: hahaha
Phillip Pamintuan: maybe yun yung thing.. di sya maexplain pero sabaw yun pagkalagay nung thing na yuun
Phillip Pamintuan: at di naghubad si scarlet
Phillip Pamintuan: pero galing ng authenticity ng mga actions ahh
toby: hahaha
Phillip Pamintuan: i mean nung nahulog si wolverine
toby: oo
Phillip Pamintuan: at na catch ni batman yun bullet
Phillip Pamintuan: medyo magaling ang execution
toby: ng fingers nya!
Phillip Pamintuan: galing rin ng cinematography indeed
toby: hahaha
Phillip Pamintuan: galing rin ng setting
Phillip Pamintuan: lalo na yun lights sa snow
Phillip Pamintuan: at of course.. gwapo rin c wolverine at c batman
toby: ikaw? kailan ka magiging the great danton?
Phillip Pamintuan: dein ako ganun mehn
Phillip Pamintuan: mindfreak ako
Phillip Pamintuan: lam naman natin emo na yun bagong thing ngayon
Phillip Pamintuan: kailangan mag stay with the times eh
Phillip Pamintuan: hehehe
toby: oo dude..galing din si austin powers' dad
Phillip Pamintuan: cno c austin powers dad?
toby: si master magician ek ek
toby: na parang care taker nila batman at wolverine
Phillip Pamintuan: ahh oo!!
Phillip Pamintuan: hahahaha!
Phillip Pamintuan: teka teka
Phillip Pamintuan: ano magandang bagong pieca ng literature?
Phillip Pamintuan: meron ka bang alam war-fantasy pero light read lang?
toby: uhmm christ the lord maganda..pero hindi siya actually war/fanstasy pero astig siya kasi its a book about jesus discovering his super powers at age 7 tapos he also tries to find out who he really is..tapos ito cool..siya nagnanarrate ng story..the book is by anne rice kaya medyo dark siya..but ofcourse medyo light lang siya
Phillip Pamintuan: o?
Phillip Pamintuan: anne rice, db yun si vampire lady?
toby: yep..meron na on paperback..yeah, sya yun vampire lady
Phillip Pamintuan: ahh ayt..
toby: yun vampire chronichles
Phillip Pamintuan: soo ano sya, parang jesus christ parables plus harry potter?
toby: parang..pero si jesus mismo yun nagsasabi ng story
Phillip Pamintuan: ahh cool
Phillip Pamintuan: in 7 year old language?
Phillip Pamintuan: tapos set sya sa israel?
Phillip Pamintuan: or sa kung san man holy land?
Phillip Pamintuan: you will find your way...
Phillip Pamintuan: to me....
toby: yun una nasa egypt sila..pero napatay niya yun nagbubully sa kanya so decide to leave egpyt
Phillip Pamintuan: oh oh oh oh...
Phillip Pamintuan: ahh cool..
Phillip Pamintuan: try ko nga..
Phillip Pamintuan: ano pa?
toby: yun lang recommended ko so far..
toby: i dont have time to read kasi eh
Phillip Pamintuan: ahh ayt ayt.. so lalagay ko tong chat natin sa lj ko
Phillip Pamintuan: mag hi ka sa mga readers ko..
Phillip Pamintuan: shout out time na to
toby: hi to the readers of phillip "too sexy for you" p.! hahaha
toby: shout out to my homies from DLSU-M
toby: shout out to my zobel homies...hahaha
Phillip Pamintuan: hahaha
Phillip Pamintuan: mock ba yan?????
toby: bakit blue eagle?
Phillip Pamintuan: ayy pota!!
toby: dehhhhhhh
Phillip Pamintuan: hahahhaha!
toby: joke lang
Phillip Pamintuan: sese.. eto na lagay ko
toby: haha
Phillip Pamintuan: lam mo naman malakas ka sakin.. kaya kita llagay dun
Phillip Pamintuan: btw.. green archer
Phillip Pamintuan: ang saya ng sembreak ko
Phillip Pamintuan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
toby: batman vs.wolverine with guest ref. austin powers' dad, watch the movie!
toby: saya ba?
toby: inggit ako
toby: haha
toby: may class pa ako tmrw eh
toby: 1-4..
toby: stress!
Phillip Pamintuan: ako sayaw rin
Phillip Pamintuan: di naman talaga stress pero well.. ganyan talaga pag tumatanda
toby: hahaha..tama tama

12:39PM - (",)

well, ayun.. mahirap noh?

*sana matapos ko yun final fantasy bago mag school! ayoko pa mag school!!
**tayo lang ba sa buong mundo yun may all souls day sa buong mundo at nov. 1?
***si salma hayek kumakain ng cricket sa ellen de generes show..
****the past few days ganito ako mag tayo.. <.. as in assout.. and i have a big ass pala. ala beyonce(",)
*****gusto ko kumain ng cricket at manuod ng movie.
-sabaw entry(",)

12:32AM - rants. yun mahilig sa cheese.. (",)

actually tinatamad ako mag update pero mamatay na ata ako sa radiation ng tv at playstation.

whats up naman?
well, sembreak ngayon!! sobrang saya naman, ang bum lng, punta dito, punta doon. and countless hours of playing ps2! ff12 baby! katulad ng lahat ng nasa friends page ko, kay tagal ko inantay ang sembreak at ngayon nandito na sya, i love it!(",)

*btw, ang cool kasi nag eevolve talaga yun mga tao sa friends page ko, from prom and birdshit highschool to college and

"The one letter that exactly describes what life is like....

/b/"

-deniscope.livejournal.com
*nice one dens!! may sources pako!

anyway, ano ba meron dis sembreak.. well, the occasional visit to lasalle taft para maingit.(",) sarap nung pumunta ako dun, nakita ko si bestfriend meh na malakas mangasar kasi miss ako!(",) tapos nakita ko pa yun mga bargas peeps!(",) nakita ko rin si superbabybear!(",) and c superminibabybear rin!(",) one thing na sobrang na gustuhan ko dun sa lahat nung mga yun is yun mga superhugs! masaklap nga lng nga ang mga goodbye.. pero well, di pa naman tapos ang buhay.. i might go back.

may pumasok na white butterfly sa loob ng bagay.. and trapped sya sa gitna ng curtain at window.. mmhrmm.. ano kaya ibig sabihin nito?

hai.. confusing ang buhay noh? god help me..

saya ng relationship ko with god now.. ngayon ko lang talaga natutunan na makinig sa kanya, kahit minsan di ko sinusunod, basta nakikinig ako at bininibigyan ko sya ng chance mag salita.

saya rin ng maraming friends.(",) zobel boyz, ac girls, ateneo blockmates, cads family! mga taong tinulungan ako this sem.. gosh nakakapagod but yall were there for me! holla!

soo ayun lang naman.. well excited ako mag beach kna paoman with ze friendships and mag allstars workshop! wooo! magttrain ako with the philippine team!!! ayoko matapos muna tong sembreak, di pa tapos ff12!!(",)

peace out yall! holla!(",)

1:09AM - Journal entree.(",)

after 10 years of not doing so..

im here now in station129 in xanland.. normally i would write with music in the background but now it seems that the only music are sounds of "bgsh and tshgsg and the occasional P***ina papatayin kita G**O" from the local phenomenon called dota..

i never played dota. what i have played from all these games though are cs and ro.. CS is a hella fun game to play with comrades that are sabaw enough to think that by smoking a part of the map would be in their advantage, or by jumping on top of each other making a pillar of power or vulnerability(",) ragnarok is fun too, its actually,  nerdy as it may sound, an escape from the usual world. what i wanna play though is world of warcraft, now thats a real escape, with superb graphics, boundless maps, international community, and of course that feeling that you are out of this world.
Phillip Pamintuan: ganda nun pare!!
J Joson: oo nga pero mahal eh
Phillip Pamintuan: raming naglalaro dto
J Joson: tsaka mawawala social life ko
Phillip Pamintuan: tama ka dun! i mean, why hook up with a real girl when u can hook up with an elven "maiden"
Phillip Pamintuan: HAHAHAHAHA!
there was this one week when i wanted to go to sunken garden and hopefully fall sa isang bush then id go unconscious and when i wake up im in a fantasy world already, and in that world, i wanna be a pirate, or a thief, but a good thief, or actually someone who is smart and agile and all that, someone who wouldnt use brute force but would use quickness.. and wit rin.. and charm of course..

anyway, ive been pretty light loaded the past weeks, and the thing that really made me heavy loaded was cads also. so acads aint really heavy, or maybe its just how i take it.. i think that would be my downfall when the day comes.. whaddya think? with me taking everything lightly, well, it is more relaxing and more therapeutic and more laid back, but then wouldnt it be that im not taking things seriously?? im talking to a friend of mine now and he's telling me about his thesis na 300 pages long.. tanginang yan!!!!!!!!!!! and he's a bizness major, ano pa kaya ako, 300 pages on cinderella or 300 pages on the mona lisa.. gash! the ateneo's acad system scares me...

"stick to 1, and 1 will stick to u".. INDEED AKO DUN MAN!(",)

anyway, thats that at least.. im still dancing.. "dancing is the hidden language of the soul."(",)
peace out homies!(",)

3:13AM - vienna - billy joel

Slow down, you crazy child 
you're so ambitious for a juvenile 
But then if you're so smart, tell me 
Why are you still so afraid? 

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? 
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out 
You've got so much to do and 
Only so many hours in a day 

But you know that when the truth is told.. 
That you can get what you want or you can just get old  
You're gonna kick off before you even 
Get halfway through 
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you? 

Slow down, you're doing fine 
You can't be everything you want to be 
Before your time 
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight 
Tonight... 
Too bad but it's the life you lead 
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need 
Though you can see when you're wrong, you know 
You can't always see when you're right. You're right 

You've got your passion, you've got your pride 
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied? 
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true 
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you? 

Slow down, you crazy child 
and take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while 
it's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two 
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you? 

And you know that when the truth is told 
that you can get what you want or you can just get old 
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through  
Why don't you realize, Vienna waits for you 
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you? 

3:32AM - hahahahaHAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!(",)

takte! whatta 3 days..

first up, it started at the "eve" before my birthday when i was texting with dawn and she told me something that would have been grave (i wasnt dumped.. or so i think.. haha!(",)) but as jesse would always say, "its all good man", i think it was perfect timing that she told me that and then resolved the whole thing that night

then august 4 came, then after class me and my friend were walking the hallway when eira and winna greeted me, then i looked at my friend and gave her that look na "well, ok lang yan(",) konti lang tampo ko.." then nag fake-but-not-drama ako sa kanya kasi she was saying sorry eh pag ganun natetearyeyes ako.. hahaha! takte! i remember back when i was a kid when my family would sing "happy birthday" id be all teary eyed. hahaha! ILABAS ANG BYULIN (violinmusic = drama) then came back to the south to party with the ac girls, gotta love them!(",) happy birthday to lia also! kasabay ko sya!(",)

then the next day came when it was marco's birthday naman. went to his house to celebrate with zobel people and meg,anaj, and rai. takte.. yun nalang.. hahaha! before that though i went to maira's house to get my gift, pero it turned out na wala akong gift, oh well, but we talked nalang, love that girl!(",) then me, raff, and poch did fast and the furious on alabang, takte lakas mangitgit ni poch solido!! came in at second lang eh.. muntikan ko na raw mabanga c raffy.. scary shit yun! then needforspeed kami ni jonz sa alabang hills. then made my way home na.. then namatayan ako sa sucat road.. shet! my tito and pit came to me, then the temporary problem was the alarm lang pala, what da fuck?? honestly, i think napagod yun oto biglaan eh. pero astig, i just texted raffy and pao about it kasi cla lang alam ko number then a lotta people came texting and calling na! advanced friendship powers yun man!

a lotta events made the day of me becoming legal more intresting, well first up with dawn, a lotta things realized, and well its all good naman, im not heartbroken or anything pero wala at least now no one to be serious with so far, on lovelife and shit, well bahala nalang, when it comes, it comes.(",) it ended na with dawn. but life still goes on, "whatever doesnt kill us, makes us stronger", i qoute pao. then a lotta dancing gigs, from a one-on-one tutorial session with a celebrity supposed to start today, to landing a free exposure gig to teach assumption highschool hardcourt choreo for buttons, to being in cads, i dance to live, i started out at 9 and half of my life so far has been in movement.(",) then we did fastandthefurious earlier, poch, me, and raffy by order to come to the gate of madrigal, taena lakas mangitgit ni poch sakin! tapos muntikan ko na raw mabungo c raffy.. pero saya ng feeling na mabilis ka eh, pero in that sense pwede ka rin mamatay just like that, so yah, gotta take things slow, and sleep a lot. then namatayan ako ng oto sa sucat road, and astig talaga to have friends that got ur back, even raffy called up my mom pa, then paoman rallied everyone pa, takte, then pit came even though its all good na. astig to have friends!(",) soo yah.. hope it goes well if not better the coming life(",) then finish off the whole birthday by chattin with mm(",)

pero i havent recieved any ipods or mucho dinero but i recieved a hella lotta love from my friends! so cheers to you guys, its been great so far!(",) to all the people who greeted me, damn u dont know how much that made my day, im sorry if i couldnt reply, hapit sa load eh, and i also have two sims rin kasi in one 3310 that couldnt get signal sometimes. to all my bestfriends, takte salamat sa times na nag bubyulin vibes ako and u got my back, Maira, PaoP, PaoS, Raffman, Pitman, Guia, Herky, AteYani, Andy, Chino, Jesse, Ysab, MM. other friends more worthy of adress, AC GIRLS, dawn, BLOCK EE HUMANITIES, CADs family, Mommy Liana and Daddy Gio, missmissy, myplace poeple, southside family, YFC, BATCH '06. and of course, the family, kahit makulit at nakakabanas cla, well, i love em solido! to mama, papa, chino, nina, liya, mommy, daddy, titoyos,titabi, titaweng, titoton, titarleen, titody, titoedwin, titagrace, titakelly, LOVE YAH!(",) to everyone, to the yayas who took care of me when i was still a kid, to the bullies of my bus when i was grade school, to the countless girls who dumped me when i was in highschool, to college people.(",) (wala pang description eh) thanks for the time!(",)

thanks for readin this till here(",)

peace out!(",)

8:57PM - update.. sorry, ayoko na mag lj -cut.. hehe

hai.. so, i could really say that since my last entry rami uli nangyari..

well to start it off great naman, i got in cads!!(",) woohoo!!(",) saya ng feeling, and ang welcoming nila.. i even have parents! daddy gio and mommy liana!(",) and i landed this teaching gig sa las pinas! astig! but i have insecurites about my dancing, lalo na when u see it on video, i dunno if thats just me pero parang ang sabog, and yun pagkasabog nya is accentuated by my height and long arms.. takte! i wanna be like patrick chen!! spottan nyo sa youtube dance2xs, nakakabaliw nalang talaga!(",) and ang rami palang mga rules and all that sa cads. i also have to make my own choreo to teach.. shet! ang hirap kaya nun!! i wanna do buttons of pussycat dolls!(",) and napansin ko lang na sabog yun choreo ko pero malakas solido soo yah. and with the teaching gig, nakuha ko yun sa teacher ko eh, tapos i asked her kung kaya ko na ba, and she said na "i dont want her to learn mga techniques and all that, i want her to learn to love to dance, and ur perfect for that." iloveit!(",) soo gumawa nako ng sylabus ko na sobrang absurd na astig, yay!(",)

takte, the past days before sunday was hella lonely for me.. to all the single people here naman, alam mo yun na parang normal naman na wala tayong itetext/tatawagan/makikita parang, ok, wala, so what.. pero alam mo yun mga times na it hits you lang talaga na wala nga.. and sobrang nakakadown lang talaga, and maiisip mo na sa ganung time sana meron kang matetext, matatawaga, makikita, diba? yes, you could say na, thats what friends are for and all that excuses pero wala lang, it hit me hard na parang damn, im lonely.. and it went on for like three days, there was this dream that i had when somebody battled me, and i couldnt move at all, even though it is a dream and i could do major shit in dreams parang i couldnt move, i dunno, nagising lang ako nun eh breathing hard and shit, i dunno why it affected me so much.

"Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?"

"when theres nothing left to burn you have to burn yourself"

i can say naman that its all good now.. and well it was because of her uli.. lets say bitter na and all that, pero my effect pa rin sya eh.. pero i dont wanna spend time imagining and trying to rekindle that magic.. if it happens it happens.. if not edi hinde.. its just like that eh.. pero yah, astig eh, smile lang tlaga eh.. anyway, sana matuloy yun show nya on aug.4 (ano kaya meron sa date na yun??) then sana makita ko sya!(",) the teaching gig made me happy rin.. and the family vibes sa south! shet! ilove them kahit ang kulit ng mom ko solido! what else, ohh yah, i have new shoes to dance on.. hahaha!(",) magic shoes pa sya!(",)

"The Heart May Freeze Or It Can Burn
The Pain Will Ease If I Can Learn"

Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows

Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play

The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you

The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you

Without you, the breeze warms
the girl smiles
the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change
the boys run
the oceans crash

The crowds roar 
the days soar
the babies cry
without you

The moon glows
the river flows
but I die without you

The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
Without you

Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats

Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe

The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry without you

Life goes on
but I'm gone
'cause I die, without you
without you
without you
without you.....

haha! bahala na(",) its all good!(",)

and btw, tanginang smart yan! kaya pala di nagrereply kasi di nakukuha yun text!!!(",) 
saya on how she's sweet and caring, wala lang.. hai, she really cares talaga, alam mo 
yun kapag banas ka lang talaga, well last entry was just like that.. soo yah.. pero i dont
dont wanna pursue it, as in bahala nalang talaga.(",) and well, bahala on believing on 
romantic love.. perhaps i can say na i believe it na when its reciprocated and she says it 
to me.

btw, globe nko uli, just ym me nalang or something for my number.

well ayun, anyway, bday is on friday na (hint hint).(",) sana masurprise nalang ako.(",) 
i dont have any plans whatsoever, magwowork out pa nga ako ng cads that day eh.
pero bahala na.(",) "Would you light my candle"

what else? ala ako internet sa dorm so pumupunta pako sa internet cafe.. hahahaha! 
libre pa ko maiinit na tubig for my baon na tea dito..(",)

anyway, tnx for readin me till here(",) peace out!(",)

11:14PM - im burned out and too cold inside..

hooya_316: but phill have u liked anyone as in seriously?
prphillip6: ohh yes.. dati.. pero wala lang, ive been heartbroken soo much na that parang dein na muna.
hooya_316: is it always the same reason?
prphillip6: not really..
hooya_316: is it ur fault or hers/
prphillip6: same same minsan...
prphillip6: basta, madalas its coz i invest too much kasi
hooya_316: invest like how?
hooya_316: hmm this is interesting
hooya_316: invest ha
prphillip6: yah.. as in, you invest a lot of yourself to that person tapos wala rin mangyayari
hooya_316: yeah but for u how do u invest?
prphillip6: hrmmm.. no specific way eh.. basta ud know naman eh..
hooya_316: hay
hooya_316: well soon it will all come back
prphillip6: pero takte, actually in a way, im not believing in love na
hooya_316: man no school again
hooya_316: what?
hooya_316: how could u not?
hooya_316: are u talking about love in general??
hooya_316: or like romantic love
hooya_316: ?
prphillip6: romantic love...
prphillip6: love between lovers...
hooya_316: hmmm..
prphillip6: bullshit nalang minsan yun eh
hooya_316: eh kasi you're bitter about it
hooya_316: but u know what do u believe love can exist if its one sided?
hooya_316: like those martyrs..who love from a far?
prphillip6: oo naman.. it happened na...
prphillip6: yah.. pero minsan parang, i dont believe nalang.. bsta hirap
hooya_316: but now u think its bull shit?
prphillip6: i dont wanna change the topic though
prphillip6: not really.. pero sobrang rare nalang nya
hooya_316: yeah
hooya_316: kasi people around us parang
hooya_316: puro flings nalang
hooya_316: nothing serious
hooya_316: its so hard to see something so genuine
hooya_316: swerte mo nalang if u find someone who has that kind of love
prphillip6: u know why? kasi they wanted at the start na mag serious pero takte dein na.. masyado na suagatan
hooya_316: oo
prphillip6: i have that..
hooya_316: baka kasi maaga pa masyado
hooya_316: maybe too much in a hurry
prphillip6: yah...
hooya_316: and yes, they gave too much of themselves wala nang natira sa kanila
prphillip6: hai nko...now im empty as hell promise
prphillip6: you know how empty i am
prphillip6: close ur eyes
prphillip6: takte
hooya_316: dont worry someone will make u whole man
prphillip6: yah.....
hooya_316: one day hindi lang ikaw ang magbibigay ng bigay
prphillip6: kwento time!!!
hooya_316: hahaha
prphillip6: its like this
prphillip6: kasi i really loved this girl named dawn..
prphillip6: then last time i talked to her.. parang sabi ko sa kanya na lam mo i feel ur soo down na now and all that kasi you got into hotlegs
prphillip6: tapos sabi nya noooo, im a good girl naman and shit
prphillip6: tapos parang ako pajoke na.. woooo.. ulul... di naman eh
prphillip6: tapos sya pajoke na... bakit?? oo naman db?? db?? db??
hooya_316: then?
prphillip6: napuno na ako eh...
prphillip6: sabi ko... eh wala naman akong chance para makilala ka eh..
hooya_316: oooh/
hooya_316: then what did she say?
prphillip6: tapos sabi nya... actually...
prphillip6: tapos parang ako.. ok.. yun lang naman yun gusto ko diba???
prphillip6: tapos parang she didnt answer that
prphillip6: tapos she just said na anyway ingat ka lang palagi
prphillip6: tapos di ko na nireplyan
prphillip6: parang, as if you care dawn
hooya_316: wait
hooya_316: gimme a background
prphillip6: if you cared, you should have answered me
prphillip6: hai nko
hooya_316: u guys are good friends?
prphillip6: yah..
hooya_316: but she looks at u as a friend lang?
prphillip6: yah.. pero parang she didnt make an effort lang talaga dati eh
prphillip6: while me gave all out eh...
prphillip6: tell me im selfish
prphillip6: whatever.. pero daputa ang hirap rin eh...
prphillip6: i was drained out and walang kapalit eh
hooya_316: dude
hooya_316: i dont like her as much then
hooya_316: gusto mo ng kapalit?
prphillip6: huh?
hooya_316: alam ko people want to be loved back..but ull know if u like someone talaga if u continue to love that person even without getting anything in return
hooya_316: just the fact na u know she is happy okay na sa iyo yun
prphillip6: i did that.. ask pao pa..
hooya_316: but of course there will come a time na you'll move on.. and atleast u can say i loved this girl well/
prphillip6: i did love her well.. promise
prphillip6: pero tis all done na...
prphillip6: and im drained..
prphillip6: im burned out
hooya_316: one day talaga as in total blessing will come.
hooya_316: promise.
hooya_316: u feel like u have so much love to give but no one wants it?
hooya_316: one day someone will..
hooya_316: maybe just not know.
hooya_316: maybe its not the right person to give it to.
prphillip6: yah..
prphillip6: basta...
prphillip6: itll come i know...
prphillip6: tnx pata
hooya_316: yeah it will..
hooya_316: anytime phill!
hooya_316: one day u will be pampered
hooya_316: hahaha u wont be tired na
prphillip6: ohh how id love that
hooya_316: oh and u will!
prphillip6: how id love when someone would be there for me na... and by that i am there also
prphillip6: how id love someone to kiss lang...
hooya_316: exactly
hooya_316: yeah phill
hooya_316: when u know na he/she is there..
hooya_316: na someone appreciates it..finally.
prphillip6: how id love someone to warm me up and make me feel cool rin
hooya_316: yeah!
hooya_316: hayyy one day
hooya_316: one day
hooya_316: anyway hate to cut this convo but i got to go
hooya_316: my sister has to use it daw
prphillip6: can i paste this in lj?????
prphillip6: give me disclaimer credit
hooya_316: ofcourse.
hooya_316: hahaha
prphillip6: hahahaha
hooya_316: of course!
prphillip6: orayt! good good!!
hooya_316: lemme read it ha!
hooya_316: wow lj worth conversation ba?
prphillip6: yes.. goodjob pata!(",)
hooya_316: hahahahhaha!
hooya_316: anytime phill
hooya_316: good job too!
prphillip6: say goodbye to the readers na(",)
hooya_316: haha
prphillip6: go!(",)
hooya_316: hahaha goodbye to all the readers! lets make phill feel the love
hooya_316: hahahaha
prphillip6: aww thats sweet!(",)
hooya_316: hahahaha!
prphillip6: ill c yah then!(",)
hooya_316: alright see ya!
hooya_316: make me read the entry ha!
hooya_316: bye!
prphillip6: oo naman.. and ill put something special pa

 
ohh yah to dawn, im happy for you, really i am, but i wont play this bullshit na, it was great while it lasted, thank you for the time(",) hope you get what u want and have a better life, while i finally must live my own life here.(",)

2:29AM

that was sweet ahh(",) love yah talaga!(",)

2:01AM - what a rainy day..

anyway, sabaw at rainy ng day ko.. and it got to me..
well first up, i woke up at 7 am, then i ate frosties lang then rushed to ateneo for my 730 class.. i took a shower ahh.
i was late for my english class.
then i realized na na kalimutan ko pala yun hard case ko full of my school shit that are important coz it would take me to my "future" and it had my literature paper, so i rushed back to my room then i rushed back to ateneo.
i forgot to brush my teeth.
i was late for my lit. class.
*good thing that happened* i got a lotta recitation points at lit. for maginificence that we took up last year.
*bad thing* dont u just hate it when ur pants are too long that they get wet.
*"* dont u just hate coming back to where u live and going back to where u study/work/whatever..
wala pa akong kasama sa caf!!! loner man eh
went to the library to read lj, that makes my life soo much better..
then stumbled upon andy, i super love that girl na!(",) then we went around judging people and drawing conclusions about them.
then went to math class. taena, math 1 is a waste of time...
then met up with meg!!(",) yay!(",)
ohh yah, eto na yun pinakanakakabanas..
na suspend yun class.. woopeedoo.. NOT!
na suspend yun classes sa dismissal ko talaga!!! ARGH!!!!
tapos na cancel pa yun cads training.. double argh! yun pa naman yun highlight of the day ko sana!
tapos punta sana ako kina jesse to break pero alang cash sooo lakad pauwi.. i hate the walk pauwi, sobrang miserable eh..
*great thing that happened* pagkauwi ko, nagpapatugtog ng michael learns to rock yun roomie ko na taga up.. tapos ym vibes tapos sakto si mm was online!! i super duper love that girl!!(",) and we talked and talked and talked while i was eating tuna w/ sky flakes using a spoon and fork, with wheat bread, and milk.. HEALThYNESS.. one more fucked up thing was nasira yun can opener ko!! ARGH!! pero its all good naman from then on..
ang funny how we cant say goodbye..
then went to sleep from 430 to 8.. shet ang sarap nun!
then kfc.. then may nakita ako na cads auditionee rin dto sa myplace, then we took out all the tables in the lobby and we danced there.
then went walking to mcdo with myplace people and GEISHAMAN.. hahahaha! then poker night, i lost.. then update sa lj about my day.. then im gonna try to finish sisterhood of the traveling pants, and im gonna read fhm rin. weeee..
tommorow is suspended rin soo di ko lam kung anong gagawin ko, for one thing, i wanna do my physics portfolio na.. then read bread of salt.. then watch a movie sana.. then dance.. and whatever..

sorry kung mahaba.. di na ata gumagana lj cut eh.. pano uli yun format?
PEACE OUT!

11:08PM - update.(",)

so yah, a lot has happened since the last entry.

but then one kwento lang, i actually came from doing two papers and well yah it hurts my head to write again but what the hell..

you know whats surprising and cute na rin, is that everytime i feel that wala na talaga to man, bigla nalang magkakachance and im glad i took those chances. i might have said last time na "bahala sya, im living my own life" i gotta take the bahala sya part.. i love the girl, i super duper care for her. but then i gotta live my life pa rin and not her life, db?(",) you know what the thing is, i was sad and disheartened coz she wouldnt tell me whats up, i mean i felt ignored. who wouldnt be sad naman db? but yah, i had a chance to talk to her and even though for a lil while lang i was the complete opposite of what i said earlier, i felt accepted and acknowledged. and she told me what was up, and damn, it was all down.. one thing about her talaga is that she goes through a whole lot and well thats her life, i dont have to live that, mas bibigat nga kung ganun and well kung may chance to be part of it, kahit by a simple text lang, it would be great. so far, i still stand by this, we were exchanging stories and it came to my lovelife in ateneo, next paragraph is all about my crushes in ateneo, tapos sabi nya dapat isa lang. and sabi ko, which i really meant, was yun girl na yun was in the south eh!(",) i love that girl!(",) and ang cool kasi i told her that one night and she said she knows.(",) i loved that.(",)

<lj-cut text = "ateneo blah">

this is one ironic paragraph compared to the last one..(",)
anyway, ateneo crushes!!(",) well there's MMM, ahh i love it!(",) super petty crush!(",) then there's ms. Lakers sa blue rep!(",) then there's CuteSmileGirl and forgothernamebutnot from cads!(",) then there's ms.unodrop from blue rep!(",) i dont have a crush anymore sa mga block ko. i think my bigidiglepartner is beautiful, not cute.. sobrang ganda nya!(",) english block. yun sa fil block cute(",) and this one girl who looks better without glasses sa physics at english at lit class ko(",) ohh my goodness! meron akong super hot girl crush from my tap class! yun virtuoso dun is as cute as a button(",) ohh i also have a crush on shanghai girl(",) sa dorm, meron rin pero wala ako maisip na codename(",) ohh yah!! crush ko rin yun sa highschool musical! c vanessa something, fil-am raw yun. lahat naman ng magaling pinoy eh!! hahahaha! kahit at least 1/16 of a person is filipino, basta talented! im sure c kenny rogers may filipino blood! malamang sa restorant nya may inasal eh!(",) crush ko rin c nikki gil. nakita ko sya once sa caf. super tan nya pala, and thats hot!(",)

asar na asar ako sa boses ni sharpay sa highschool musical! btw, nag apply ako for audition ng blue rep! hahahaha! taena im gonna make a big fool of myself! i have to sing and do a monologue. kaya ko yun monologue pero yun singing part.. eek.. sa monday na rin yun cads audition.. *breathes* i hope i get in. ohh yah, and i hope di ako pahirapan ni cads master! haha!(",)

ohh yah, first time ko nag cut ng class nung thursday, to sleep back at the dorm. reasonable naman yun(",) tap dance = 5 cuts left.

i lost my id but found it rin. buti nalang! taena i get pissed of at guards who drag you pa and shit eh! and this is one sabaw rule, bawal ka magdala ng drinks (water jug) inside the covered courts.. i mean, ok..

kagabi i watched stages of love and 20 questions. taena ang galing!! lalo na yun stages of love!! sana it was a bigger production pa! pero i gotta say, if u are planning to watch, or id say go watch na! ur gonna love coffeeman! db joy?(",) hahaha!(",)  but seriously, go watch stages of love, its worth the 100 pesos promise!(",) 20 questions naman was so simple, and that made it great! ayoko na mag comment on it coz kakagawa ko lng ng paper bout it earlier, i just gotta say.. its "soul sex"(",)

to tell yah lang, i had a really fucked up day today, first up i commuted home and damn the mrt! i didnt get in the first train kahit tinutulak nako ng nasa likod ko.. next train naman i got in last pero dinrag ako ng guard kasi di mapagkasya yun bag ko, i mean he literally grabbed my backpack and dragged me out of the train.. just inhaled-exhaled, you know guys, that really helps.. breathing.. luckily the third train had no people in it.

may joke ako.. yun bear family went out to have a picnic, they went swimming na rin sa beach, cno hinde nabasa?? edi yun DRYBEAR!!!!!!! owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! get get get? drybear=driver na bear na tuyo?????????? tuyo diba food yun???? tuyo? to me? owwwwww!!!!

laftrip we made one sobrang sabaw story ni pao about the true location of the call center of france, youd be surprised that its not in france(",) i miss zobel sabawness!!(",)

i really miss my family, and ang saya lang coz we all had lunch together.(",) i love it!(",)

truth be said, one thing about love is that its not all that magical eh.(",) and well, for me, apart from a lot of other things, love is understanding eh.. and i gotta say, that i dont understand dawn fully yet, i hope she gives me the chance though, and i know i gotta wait for that chance pa. it would be a lot more easier if this and that is happening, but the thing is, thats not how life is eh.. i truly hope everything goes well for her na.. I know god doesnt give us stuff that we cant overcome, and i know how dawn is strong, pero i just hope she doesnt get burned out, i just hope..

</lj-cut>

anyway, tnx for reading me till here.

PEACE OUT!(",)

10:26PM - "if you cant avoid it, might as well enjoy it"

christine.yfc: what's up?
prphillip6: wala naman..
prphillip6: im lovin life..
christine.yfc: ah ok
christine.yfc: mid terms ko na nxt week
christine.yfc: bilis noh
christine.yfc: stah na kau ni dawn?
prphillip6: bahala sya(",) i love life.(",) matutulog ako ngayon na ako lng iniisip ko.(",) wala ng iba..(",)
christine.yfc: hehe ganon
prphillip6: yapz..(",)
christine.yfc: sounds like bitterness ha
prphillip6: nope(",)
christine.yfc: la lng
prphillip6: sounds like living life, my life..(",)

-indeed. no bitterness(",) its just wala a friend of mine just told me something that really struck me. and i gotta say this, if you think im being bitter or sad or whatever, fuck you, you cant tell me what i feel.

"phillip, youre trying too hard.. youre playing it safe"

-yah, i actually am. ill have to tell the truth now, ive been playing it safe. and sometimes you just gotta plunge in it. life, taena, go in it lang. "if you cant avoid it, might as well enjoy it." ive been trying too hard to please everyone, but then, fuck the people i cant please, the people who dont understand me, the people who ignore me, the people who dont love me. why do i have to fucking waste my time on them when there are people who is pleased with me and pleases me also, when there are people who understands me and i also understand me, when there are people who dont ingnore me and will be the mutually hungry for both our attentions, when there are people who love me and give me the chance, welcome, acceptance of my love for them.(",) you know who you are, i'd like to say that i love you.(",)

"you gotta do what you want, and do it as if you really know what youre doing"

-taena, that hit me hard on the balls. hahaha! exxagerated, but yah, it hit me hard. She's correct, i mean yah, do what you want, and if ever do it properly. BUT then, you also have to be smart enough to not do it recklesly i mean, there is still timing, there is till appropriateness, and of course the most important thing, THERE IS ALWAYS RESPECT, TO YOURSELF, TO OTHERS.

i wrote this on my starbucks planner earlier in the library.

"to whom it may concern,
I just realized that i may not support all the shit people do, but i support the people, i mean you could do this and that; its your life, its your choice, and both, i truly respect, so yah.(",) im with you, my friend, love yah!
-phillip"

-you get that, i have a diversity of friends, i cant tell how much different they are, how much shit they do, how much shit they dont do. but what i can tell is that everyone of them, their lives, their choices, i hella respect them. i may not support the shit you do, but i support you. friend, salamat!(",)

"Basta kung ano trip mo yun trip mo"
aeon books buddy

-salamat man. hahahaha! were gonna have a mofockin time here in ateneo man!! it starts tommorow!! HELL YES!!!(",)

ALL
525,600 minutes,
525,600 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes,
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets,
In midnights, in cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles,
In laughter, in strife?

In  525,600 minutes,
How  do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love,
Seasons of love.

JOANNE:
525,600 minutes,
525,600 journeys to plan,
525,600 minutes,
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

COLLINS:
In truth that she learned,
Or in times that he cried?
In the bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died?

ALL:
It's time now, to sing out,
Though the story never ends.
Let's celebrate, remember a year,
In the life of friends.

Remember the love, (Oh you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love, (You know that love is a gift from up above)
Remember the love, (Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love, (Measure, measure your life in love)
Seasons of love
Seasons of love (Measure your life, measure your life in love).

11:56AM - whats up?(",)

i miss the internet!!(",)

anyway, now im at rizal library enjoying/spending the 2 hour break that i have. daputa!(",) thank god for free internet in universities.:O and because its cold here (compared outside! daputa!) i can now wear (and not feel stupid) my adidas hoodie.

so yah, 2 days of classes has already passed by here in the ateneo for me. and its been good so far.

everyday my day starts at 730 am. i wake up at 6, take a bath, eat, then rush/walk really fast to avoid being late (which ive been good at so far). anyway, yesterday (mwf) my classes end at 1030!! yehaaaaaaa!! and today, (tth) i have big gaps between classes and my day ends with PE, which is tap dancing!!(",) fred astaire/gene kelly vibes na to!!(",)

im surprised with how many familiar faces i see now in the library. there's abi go, carlos agana, krista something, jessica peralta also. on my side also there are the tables where people chat, read, study, pretend to study, and sleep.(",) my two blockmates are also flirting with each other pa.(",) i like the university library vibes, i think im gonna spend a lot of time here.

you know how everyday you see this one girl everywhere? well ive been here for two days but i always see the orsem host, and this tnt girl who looks like she can kick my ass. and my upperclassmen crush!!(",) whats funny is i think she wore the same shirt she was in yesterday.(",) i wont take it against her coz i always do that, but then does that mean were compatible??????? HAHAHA!! what a sabaw analogy.(",)

my partaking in the orsem idol brought me two great friends. wala lang.

as i read my friends page earlier i spotted that almost everyone missed zobel. and me being the nott peer pressured guy that i am, must do the same thing.(",) well, perhaps id miss zobel in the sense (filipino mode) na pwede ka humirit ng kahit anong kasabawan mo tapos lahat support. well my block was there to laugh naman but then i wanted sana the whole class.

Physicist: Potential Energy Sources

Energy Sec. Potential Energy Sources

whats the difference? wala ako maisip na hirit bout the question pero tinanong ko k berta (my blockmate) kung yun energy sec ba means Energy SECRETARY. sabaw!(",)

nacocoolan ako dun sa you can text whenever wherever.(",) and the friend one text away. kukay is good at that. hahaha!(",) sa rami ng mga pwedeng samahan kapag break, mas marami rin yung time na wala kang kasama so yah, thank god for nokia!(",)

may security camera dito sa library, ive yet to tell pao but then im sure may magagawa nanaman kaming plan to steal "physics for uberly cool ateneans, try to steal my from rizal library" formula based on oceans eleven, sam fisher and lito lapid movies!(",) sabaw!!(",) hahaha!(",)

actually, kasi wifi sa zen garden, or kung san man dito sa ateneo, were actually thinking of a savaw plan to route the internet connection to our condos!(",) the hard part lang is crossing it through katipunan road!(",) hahahahaha!(",)

nakacommute nko papuntang commonwelath and back, on the way back, while i was waiting for the jeepney in up corner katipunan ave. there was this guy who approached me and asked "dito ba yun sakayan" then i said, "di ko alam, bago lang ako dito eh" and then he said "ahh, gusto mo dun muna tyo (sa dark) at magkuwentuhan" TANGINANG YAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tawid kagad ako ng kalye eh! 

as you can see, so far its been quite an adventure. BUT, well, i miss dawn. and homemade food.:O and im hoping it would rain para magamit ko pa lalo tong hoodie ko.:O anyway, thats that.(",) ive got 30 mins. before classes start and well, bahala na. after my pinoy class (im in room 206 while all my blockmates are in 208, feel ko im advanced.. or it could also be im dumb. hahaha!(",)) an hour and a half pa till tap dance. soooo, might update again! deh!!(",) 

PEACE OUT!(",)

9:11PM - greetings from the admu!(",)

so yah, im in the same internet shop as before.

tonight's a friday night and im sobrang beat up.. first up was registration day in the morning. it was ok naman but then it was long. my pe is tapdancing!(",) owwww! and i got physics for nat. sci amp!(",) damn it! 113 na nga number ko eh!!(",) and my units for intro to college algebra is 0!(",) so its not credited but its required. daputa... anyway, i havent fixed my sked yet.

orsem kwn2! di ko masyado makavibe yun english block ko.. anyway, my block for humanities is great!(",) sobrang iba iba kami but then were bonded na rin coz were only 20, wala ako crush though sa blocks ko. :O thats new!(",) anyway, i auditioned for orsem idol dance but then i didnt get a text, so yesterday, i was just sleeping when i was awaken by a call, and it was them telling me that i got in the top 10 and i gotta be there in ten minutes! sabaw!! anyway, they gave me the name porsche. so yah, the first elimintations was to be a 20 second freestyle, i did my krump and attitude and my ground work to an elbow stand. then by god i got in the top 6, then we all did a prepared choreography which was hella hot!!! then we had to do 3 8's and damn i gave that 3 8's like ive never gave any 3 8's before. but then it didnt cut it. anyway, the top3 were (ill describe their style rin ahh) bboy flex of battle krew, jessie, mc cheerleader flip girl pau, and gary v. timmy. and the results came that way, from last to first. it was a great match altogether and im proud that two of my friends came in the top3.(",)

so yah, new friends? well ive got really good friends in jessie and pau, we even ate out after the competition. tnx jessie!

hrmm, what else? well, cads (company of ateneo dancers) know us na. i mean by name pa. and i visited their practice earlier and made kwn2 kwn2 with the boyz and kuya gio offered his tap dancing shoes to me. owww! freshmen friendships! im actually excited to audition na!!(",)

what else? im so beat up coz me and pit went to dlsu/up manila by commuting.. we took all the trains, lrt1, mrt, lrt2. and damn they need to have concrete lines.

well ayun, its a saturday tommorow and i have guidance test. and i feel coz im the only freshie in my room from admu id sleep alone. :( so yah.(",) it comes with the independence.. anyway, im gonna be late for curfew.

by the way 34 kami na zobel in admu, and in the orsem idol video two zobelians were in the bloopers and raffy answered the question what does it take to be orsem idol with "strong SEX appeal" and ysi danced and i was there for like 5 scenes! owwww! consolation!!

PEACE OUT!

10:33PM - greetings from katipunan!(",)

well yah, the title says it all..  anyway, so yah, i live in my place an uber expensive mudafreakaleekadeekin place! pero ok lang, sulit naman sa amenities at sa room service and shit. so yah, my roommates are cool.. a senior, a sophomore from admu and a junior and a frosh from up!(",)

well life being independent has been fun.. from the responsibility of cash, to making a "proxy" family, to feeling hungry as your wallet, and all that.(",) ive been walking everyday to admu though. owwww!(",) so yah, ill update again some other day.(",) ill update how the week went before it ends.(",)